purchases

 What's changed since I blogged? I'm scared to look at the date on the last post. 

But it's ok, no one's here. *Phew. 

I just made two purchases, and somehow the thought that they are both things to insert into myself made me laugh, and inspired a blogpost. Bizarrely. 

I boiled my menstrual cup dry yesterday, having finally summoned the motivation to sterilize it. The truth is I often just wash it with soap and use it, because I cant fit 20 minutes of boiling into my chaotic non-schedule schedule. So I put it on this morning, came upstairs with coffee having decided to set the phone timer instead of the oven timer, and ... yeah. Some time later I smelled the sinister odour of burning silicon. 

It's ok, though, it just didn't fit right - try doing some kegels, they told me. Yup, sounds about right. 

Anyway, I've never had one that fit right, presumably due to the kegel dirth, two births, and unfortunate amount of visceral fat I'm carrying. So, I just ordered a Femmycycle and we'll see if that sits different. 

I do kegels, sometimes. I just did one now. I also read they're not necessarily a good idea, as with all things, and it put me off a bit. 

And I thought I'd bought earplugs that help with misophonia when they were on sale last month. Apparently, once again, I'd failed to complete the sale. I do this a lot. It's probably not as bad as boiling your menstrual cup dry, but it's irritating. I was literally waiting for the post to come. 

I'm a little worried about the expenditure, as I spent €1300 on two crowns for my teeth last week. Teeth, ugh. 

What else has changed. I got a new job I am unnaturally bad at (management, of my school - I can't keep myself straight, I make stupid mistakes all day, I work so slooooowly, and it's so stressssssful. I don't want to talk about it. I did it to get out of my rut, but maybe it'll kill me, if I don't ruin them first. Some days it doesn't feel that bad, but often it does, which brings me to: 

I have ADHD. No diagnosis yet, that'll probably cost more than the teeth, which is off-putting. But it explains SO. MUCH. about all the years of my life and my emotional state and my failure to do anything despite seeming reasonably intelligent and why my brain does not work and I lose everything and how I just sit here for hours not doing simple things I need to do... and and and all the other things. 

And I think my baby son has it too. Him, I will pay for an assessment for, if I can only make myself research and book one. 

Next outlay, Lion's Mane mushroom for me, see if it helps. 

Continued, a week later... 

Went to get Lion's Mane yesterday, in a chaotic healthfood shop shop, during which I paid for my things in three installments, as I kept forgetting stuff, and then left my other shopping bag behind; they had to call me, bless them, when I was more than half way home, to ask if it was mine. Of course it was. They were out of the preferred Lion's Mane, so I'm still not saved from forgetting things. 

The story continues in like form...